You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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