So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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