butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
