How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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