i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
