11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
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