I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
