what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
