i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
