4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
