he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
