Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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