So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
