Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
