Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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