i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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