You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
