You're my little dorito
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
