Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
