Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
