If that was your dad, he is hot
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
