Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
