I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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