Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
