apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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