If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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