sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I need a burrito and a hug.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
