Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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