FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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