Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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