I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
