I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
