I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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