No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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