So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think I am morally bankrupt
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
