Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
