Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
