I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
