she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
