i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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