I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
