The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
