You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
