FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
