It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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