Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
