you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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