I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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