You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
