She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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