I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
