so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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