i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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